Cretan Diary - Chapter 2

Goodbyes (Jenny)

Having to say goodbye to friends and family really takes the edge off the excitement of the move. The first goodbye for me was the buffet lunch on my last day at work. It was a hectic and emotional event at which I did not get to eat much of the food I had organised. I don't know how these things are usually arranged, but I was given the canteen's food list and told to order £75 worth for the buffet lunch. The rest would be made up from contributions by staff from a list that I also had to prepare. From the canteen I ordered mostly sandwiches, which, I know are too time consuming for most members of staff to want to prepare and bring in themselves. There was a basket of goodies from my workmates, a speech from my manager and a few words from myself. I tried to circulate and speak to everyone. I was pleased how many people had turned up to see me off. My vouchers from the trust did not turn up and next day I began a month long battle to try and get my hands on them in time to spend them before I left the country. After 3 weeks I was told there was "a backlog", but they would make a special case of me because I was emigrating. How much of a backlog can there be? I ordered them 2 months before I was due to leave, and all it takes is for a member of the finance department to do a little shopping! Anyway they did eventually arrive and they have been spent and the booty packed to be used in Crete.

Two days later I met with a few of my colleagues at a Greek restaurant in Liverpool, the nearest one we could find to home that didn't seem too quiet and romantic. As my friend, who organised the evening said, "A quiet place would hardly do for such a noisy crowd as us, so I chose a place which offered Greek dancing, Belly dancing and plate smashing." At the end of the evening I was disappointed to note that there had been no plate smashing. There had indeed been dancing though. There were several large parties in the restaurant and the staff had asked what each was celebrating. My name was read out along with brides to be and a couple of people celebrating birthdays. After her performance the belly dancer went in search of these people. When my turn came it seemed less embarrassing to get up and join in than to try and get out of it. My colleagues were impressed, by my willingness more than my style, I think. Several photographs were taken, some on my own camera so I could have copies.

That night I stayed with Barbara, a friend from Mike's university days in Liverpool. She must be the only person I know who does not have a mobile phone. We had arranged that she would pick me up outside the restaurant at about 11.50pm. But at about 11 o'clock everyone else began to leave! Liz found out and phoned me from her car to join them and offered to wait until Barbara arrived. Liz had just bought a Land Rover with DVD screens in the back of the headrests, in reality to keep her two young sons occupied on long journeys. However we made good use of them and enjoyed watching "Cars" and "Toy Story". It was a while before I realised that both screens were showing different films! Must have drunk more than I thought!

Mike's nephew, Dave, had the foresight to plan his wedding for the week after I retired. That meant we could say goodbye to the entire xxxxxx clan at once. The wedding was on a beautiful day.

Unfortunately it was in Plymouth. We had a nightmare journey down the M5 where there were accidents and thousands of holidaymakers' vehicles impeding our progress. During one detour we found a lovely place to have lunch, with views over Somerset. We couldn't get to the church in time for the ceremony, so we headed straight for the hotel where we arrived a short while before the rest of the wedding guests. The meal was good and all the Pickerings, except Davy and his family, were on one table so we had good company. Another of Mike's nephews, Tom, was presented with a cake with a firework, as it was also his 15th birthday. The evening part of the proceedings was in a room at the back of the hotel. This room turned out to be very small and hot so we sat outside at tables, which were meant to be the smoking area, but we discouraged anyone from coming near us with cigarettes. One by one, all the Pickerings came and sat outside with us, this time including Davy's parents and sister. We took lots of photos with the disposable cameras provided, but afterwards I realised I had not duplicated them with my own camera, so had fewer than I thought.

We did get Mike, his brothers and sister together for a photo, and after several attempts got one, which might please their mother. Thank goodness for digital cameras, where you don't waste film. Mike's Mum.

We met most of Mike's relatives again at his sister's next morning. It was another sunny day and her house has magnificent views over the River Tamar to Cornwall.

So I will remember them all bathed in sunshine. Mike's brother and his wife were foraging in the garden and trying to explain to Dave's young sister the difference between Brambles and Blackcurrants. Cultivation is the key, I believe. They asked her if her mum ever used the brambles for anything. She told them that sometimes Mum put them in a pan "Then something horrible comes out", so she was quite keen for her aunt and uncle to carry on eating them off the bushes.

From Plymouth, Mike and I drove to South Wales for a few days with my sister and her husband. The weather next day was awful, but we went out in it anyway.

Castle Coch has to be on your list of places to visit in South Wales. My brother-in-law loves this area and is always keen to show it off to visitors. He was born nearby, but lived and worked in the Midlands for about 30 years. Now that he has retired, he has come home, and loves it.

The following day was sunny again and we went to the local market, then a local park. We needed the exercise after so many long car journeys. My sister says they may come out to visit us, but I am not sure if that will ever happen. They travel a lot, but avoid really hot places. They are keen on cruises these days. Maybe they will visit early or late in the season. We waved goodbye on another sunny day. My retirement is going well weather wise so far.

At the end of that week I met some old friends from my previous job and we went out for a meal. It was a good gossipy evening, catching up on each other's news and that of former colleagues. Two of us no longer worked in Staffordshire and, although we worked for the same company in Cheshire, we didn't meet up often. Every time I meet anyone at the moment I take with me a photograph album, which I have had printed with pictures of our new house and surroundings. I also give out my new address. It will be interesting to see how many people really do keep in touch.

The week after that I, hopefully, said goodbye to my dentist with the "All Clear" at my check up. Next day I collected my eight year old great-niece, Pam, from Ikea. Ikea is a favourite meeting place, being half way between her home and mine. She is interested in rocks and fossils. As I was keen on geology at school I offered to have her to stay for a few days to explore our local area. We packed in a lot of activities to her 5-day stay.

I took her walking up on "The Roaches", a gritstone ridge in Derbyshire, carved into weird shapes by wind and water. We hunted for fossils on a beach and visited the National Stone Centre where she got to pan for gems as well as seeing fossils galore in the rocky outcrops.

One day we went to Dunham Massey to meet my godmother, her daughter, Joan, and granddaughter. The latter is a year younger than Pam and the plan was that Joan would take the girls on the Deer Walk leaving Auntie and me free to talk. This was the most emotional goodbye yet, as my godmother is well into her eighties and becoming increasingly frail. I really do not know if I will ever see her again. She is like a grandmother to my children who never knew my parents, and has been like a mother to me for over thirty years. We had a long conversation and I really enjoyed the day with her. The girls were good for the most part and were acting like old friends by the time we parted.

When we took Pam home her mother cooked tea for us and we had a relaxing few hours with my niece and family before another goodbye and a two-hour drive home. I hope a lot of my family and friends are computer literate so we can keep in touch easily. Mike's sister is keen to get back to letter writing, but, as she recently found a letter she began just after Dave was born but never posted, I won't hold my breath waiting for mail to come from her.

Just before I finished work I put my Honda Jazz on the market. Most of the enquiries were from dealers offering much less than I wanted for the car. One dealer was very keen and phoned every week, each time upping his offer by £100, but never to an amount high enough to tempt me.

It seemed he was keener to buy it than I was to sell it. I was happy to keep the use of the car for as long as possible. Mike works from home, but still needs his car for some part of most days. However, all good things must come to an end and, at last, a private buyer from London made me an offer within the range I wanted. He came up on the train and drove my car away. It sounds very simple, but he spent an hour and a half inspecting the car and only found a few scratches - there was nothing else wrong with it. It was nice to sell my car in good time before our departure, but I was sad to see it go. It is also awkward having to co-ordinate trips out round Mike's needs or, heaven forbid, take him with me. I have also learnt how to fill the car with LPG!

I phoned my brother to arrange a visit to his caravan while it was in Scarborough. That is only slightly nearer than his home, but I'd heard a lot about his new caravan, been shown all the brochures, so I wanted to see it. He, of all my relatives, had made no comment on my impending departure to foreign parts. He, too, is my closest blood relative apart from my children. He said when we met that when I'd asked to visit, "to say good bye" he realised how final it was. Again we had a nice day with him, his wife, daughter and grandson. I still have a vivid picture of him in the rear view mirror as I drove away. I hope he comes to visit us, but he can't bring his caravan.

Another week and another lunch date. This time with a friend from Stoke who couldn't make the first meal. She has had breast cancer and is still undergoing treatment and she had a hospital appointment the day of that meal. I drove to her house. We walked round to the pub in sunshine and ate a lovely meal. Then the heavens opened and we were trapped in the pub for a further hour! Neither of us had a coat, and we couldn't phone her husband to pick us up because I had parked across their drive, blocking him in. However we didn't mind, we talked non-stop as if we had never had a break in seeing each other.

Then the time came to say goodbye to the first of my children, my first born, in fact. It was his birthday in early September and we arranged to stay with him overnight. It is a two and a half hour drive, on a good day. He usually comes to visit us, so we haven't been there for a while. However, since No 2 son also lives in the next village now, I wanted to see his accommodation. It is RAF barracks, but I need to see it so I can picture him there when we've gone. We arrived at his house just as he was getting up. His birthday night out had ended at 3am. Mike spent most of the afternoon trying to get broadband to work on his laptop. Carol and I left the three men (Tim had turned up too) to a bit of male bonding, and went shopping. Later I went to Tim's room with him. Being on the base it involved being registered and photographed at reception and being issued with a pass. Carl had warned me that it (the room) was small. Tim's description of all the storage made the room sound huge, but it was a small room filled with cupboards. Tim has put two chests of drawers in his walk-in cupboard to clear some floor space. It has a smart en-suite, though.

Carol and Laurence made a lovely Bolognese for tea from a new recipe book that is similar to one I had when we were first married. Good, healthy meals on a budget. Once he had eaten, Tim left, saying he would see us tomorrow, which he didn't. Never mind, he is coming home next weekend.

We went to visit the local National Trust property, Tattershall Castle, on Sunday morning. Laurence and Carol have never been in the three years they have lived in the village. We walked there from their house.

It was a pleasant morning, sunny again. The tower has 149 steps. Mike found a 150th step on the roof that he tripped over and cut his knee (and his trousers) but, by the time he reached the bottom of the flight, he had got rid of any stiffness that might have developed.

We left Laurence after tea. He and Carol hope to visit us at Christmas, if we can find sensible flights at that time of year. Leaving him wasn't as hard as I'd expected. I suppose we have got used to not seeing him for months at a time. Also he is not at all sentimental. I texted him that evening to say we had arrived home safely and got a message back "Does that mean I should have been worried?" However, I still get a lump in my throat when I know we won't see him here for a year or more.

Chapter 3 - Leaving Thoughts

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